Renowned clinical sex therapist and best-selling author, Ian Kerner Ph.D. joins me today to talk about sex scripts, why fantasies are important for your relationship, the dynamics of kink, porn as “homework” and how to get into a flow state during sex. Dr. Kerner is the author of the legendary book She Comes First, “the thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman” and he just released a new book So, Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex. We cover a lot in this interview including what has changed in his last 20+ years as a practicing sex therapist. Hint: erectile dysfunction in younger men is real.
Dr. Kerner (“the man who made oral sex into an art form”) walks us through his latest book and explains how you can decode and rewrite your relationship’s sex script and bring your erotic self into the bedroom to transform your sex life. We discuss the importance of psychological arousal, what happens to your body during the honeymoon phase, when to challenge the monogamy script, what to do when there is a “desire discrepancy” in a relationship and so much more.
“When it comes to sex and relationship problems, many of us are leading lives of quiet desperation. Sometimes you can be lying in bed next to someone and feel a million miles apart. Talking about sex and relationships is hard, but self-silencing can be even harder in the long run.” – Dr. Kerner