If you’ve ever avoided anal because it hurt, felt intimidating, or just had too many unanswered questions — you haven’t had the right conversation yet. Whether you’re completely new to backdoor play or you’ve been doing it for years without the proper foundation, most people are skipping the steps that actually make it feel good. And that’s not a problem. That’s an education problem.
In this episode, I sit down with nationally renowned anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein — founder of Bespoke Surgical and Future Method — for the most honest, shame-free breakdown of anal health and pleasure you’re going to find anywhere.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why anal sex should never be painful, what’s actually causing the pain, and the exact 4-6 week protocol that prepares your body the right way
• The truth about douching, wet wipes, and why most people are unknowingly damaging their anal microbiome before sex even starts
• How to navigate anal with hemorrhoids, skin tags, or past injuries — and what your options actually are when something goes wrong
This episode is sponsored by…
Try Promescent Delay Spray today and get 15% off your first order. Just go to www.promescent.com/swe
More Dr. Emily:
• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5
• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!
• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.
• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website
• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube
• Let’s text: Sign up here
• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
Chapters:
0:00 – Intro
1:51 – Meet Dr. Evan Goldstein: Anal Surgeon & Founder of Bespoke Surgical
3:46 – Where Does the Taboo Around Anal Come From?
6:54 – The Three Pillars: How to Prepare, Play & Recover
8:07 – The 4 to 6 Week Dilating Protocol Every Beginner Needs
14:08 – Lube 101: Silicone vs. Water-Based & When to Use Each
15:55 – The Lube Shooter, Empowering the Bottom & Why You Can’t Assume Your Partner Knows
16:57 – Douching: Why Water and Store-Bought Enemas Can Do More Harm Than Good
20:33 – Less Is More: Gut Health, Fiber & How to Douche the Right Way
23:27 – Aftercare: What to Do If You Tear or Have Pain
24:19 – Beginner Tips: Positions, Partner Communication & Choosing the Right Size
32:38 – Listener Q&A: Hemorrhoids, Skin Tags & Can You Still Have Anal Sex?
36:43 – Listener Q&A: Colon Surgery, Couples Starting Out & Sex Positions by State
42:14 – Why Wet Wipes Are Wrecking Your Microbiome (Anal and Vaginal)
44:45 – Five Quicky Questions with Dr. Goldstein
