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Emily Anne

text dom blog sex with emilyFor all the BDSM lovers out there, this ongoing quarantine may have put a wrench in your dynamic. On top of ordering face masks and keeping our hands clean, you might not have the ability to meet up as frequently as you’d like. Luckily, you don’t have to be in the same room to keep up with your Dom/sub lifestyle. You can keep your power dynamic at the tip of your fingers, through text.

Texting can be a great way to Dom someone. For one thing, your commands are right there in black and white – less room for misinterpretation.

Here are some ways you can Dom someone via text. As always, consent is key for any and all BDSM activity, including communicating via text.

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foreplay bedroom blog sex with emilyWhen you think of foreplay, do you think touching, kissing, massaging? And do you think that happens in the bedroom as simply a perfunctory “warmup” for the big deed? Like, say, 10 minutes worth?

Well, think again. Foreplay isn’t just for the bedroom. In fact, it can be a geographically diverse series of events! It should even start wayyyy before sex.

This article will help you prime yourself and your partner for a sexy night. Here are some things you can do to make the leading up to sex (almost) as good as the sex itself.

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summer dating blog sex with emilyIt’s June 20th, and summer is officially here! Right now, you’re probably itching to get outside and have some fun. If you’re dating, Coronavirus has changed the game in ways we couldn’t have imagined at the start of the year.

But hey – let’s roll with it, shall we? As the weather gets warmer, and quarantine keeps us spatially (notice I didn’t say “socially”) distant, the great outdoors can become our dating platform. Since we’ve been cooped up during quarantine, the outdoors is beckoning us.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, keep reading for some fun ideas for outdoor summer dates!

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asexuality blog sex with emilyIt is clear that our society’s view of sex has evolved over the years. One aspect of sexuality is something you might not think about is Asexuality.

The definition of asexuality is “the quality or characteristic of having no sexual feelings or desires.” While this is just one dictionary definition, there are many nuances to the term that should be explored. As we celebrate Pride month, our focus is on the LGBTQ+ community. All parts of the spectrum of sexuality should be honored and respected.  That includes Asexuality.

In this blog, we’ll at demystify the idea of asexuality, and find out why it’s important to celebrate aces during pride.

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play blog sex with emilyWith some states coming out of Covid-19 lockdown, many people are venturing out, having BBQs, trying to responsibly socialize and might feel like they have been let out of jail of social “confinement.” During the past few months of quarantine time (and especially since May was Masturbation Month), a lot of people have been focusing on masturbation as sexual release. Yay! But don’t let up on this focus just because you are potentially unleashed into the world and able to start to touch others.

This month is Pride month, and this year, our focus here at Sex With Emily during Pride is “playfulness.” In the theme of playfulness, finding new ways to play with your body is one of the best ways to spend Pride month!

Here are some ways you can “play” with your body.

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black sex educators blog sex with emilyWith the Black Lives Matter movement sweeping across the country and around the globe, there has been a lot of information floating around on how to get involved and make a difference. One way to get involved by advocating for and patronizing black-owned businesses.

We here at SWE want to lend our support to black sex educators and coaches, as well as black-owned sex and intimacy shops.

You may not know this, but the sex education space has been dominated by white sexologists. This imbalance is nothing new, as evidenced by this article from five years ago. So many incredible sex coaches and educators are being overlooked because of implicit racial bias. Take a look at this eloquent explanation from the Women of Color Sexual Health Network’s (WOCSHN) response to the editors of a book called Secrets of the Sex Masters, which was comprised of all white authors:

 

Yes, for many of us, our bodies of Color do experience sex and pleasure differently. Our bodies are not solely genes and biology, but also the histories written on them and the myriad ways we have to navigate the world differently than White people, particularly for those of us who are racially Black and marked immediately as “Other.”

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Some of us never even get the opportunity to really experience sex or sexual pleasure because we do not live long enough. Some of us carry shame about our bodies just by virtue of their color or the racialized traits they carry, which impacts how much pleasure we think we are even worthy of. That’s why any conversation about sexuality is also about race.

 

Black and BIPOC sex coaches, educators and therapists have a part to play in a global conversation about sex. As aptly stated by the WOCSHN,

POC can speak to every issue in the spectrum of sexuality and beyond. The beauty of what many of us POC do is that we weave all these stories together and acknowledge they are actually inseparable.”

We wanted to take this time to point out some amazing resources that you should be aware of in the sex ed and intimacy space. Click on the links below and explore!

 

Black sex educators, therapists, and sexologists

 

 

A personal Favorite

As a kinkster and BDSM gal, I personally want to highlight someone I have been following on Instagram for some time, BlakSyn aka Kinky Black Educator (they/them). All of their posts are chock full of the most insightful information on consent, BDSM and kink best practices. As they noted in a post on June 5, 2020, “BDSM communities are mostly comprised of white people. Black people must actually labor to find community who looks like them.” This educator has a post on nearly every important topic in BDSM and even calls out some of the elitism in BDSM (see post on March 11, 2020). One of my favorite quotes from that post is “You are kinky enough,” which is something I often tell my clients who worry about being too vanilla for their kinky partners.

 

Black-owned sex and intimacy shops

 

 

Now is the time to do our part to eradicate inequities in the sexual wellness space. I hope this list helps you find the resources you need in your sexual journey. I hope, in turn, that the proliferation of this knowledge benefits the black professionals and entrepreneurs who bring this much needed education to the world.

 

 


Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed!

pelvic floor blog sex with emilyRecently, I was on a Zoom call for a class on vulnerability.  The facilitator asked us what we are doing during this pandemic to improve an area of our lives. I realized that my answer was unique: I have been working on strengthening my pelvic floor. 

You may not realize, but exercising your pelvic floor is something you can do for yourself during this stressful time. All genders benefit from strengthening this area, as it affects your health in a variety of ways.

A strong pelvic floor can help support female organs, as well as the bladder. It may help prevent UTIs – which can get in the way of pain-free sex. Even better, a strong pelvic floor may help support a better sex life, affording better orgasms and increased genital sensitivity.

If you have a penis, a stronger pelvic floor can help with better range of motion for thrusting, and allow you to ejaculate further and with more control! Woohoo!

Let’s get into two ways you can strengthen your pelvic floor.

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Muse Blog Sex with emilyCovid-19 is changing the world as we know it. One industry that is seeing a big boon in sales due in part to the stay-at-home orders and a growing need for self-pleasure is the sex toy industry.

With masturbation being the one truly safest sex you can have during quarantine, finding and purchasing a new toy has become something of a new pastime. The privacy factor of being able to order online has also fed into the rush to purchase a new sex toy during lockdown. Yet, as the LA Times reports, “sex-toy sales are up, stigma is down.”

Meanwhile, one sex toy maker, Muse, has switched over its manufacturing from lube to hand sanitizer. 

 

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kids parenting blog sex with emilyMay is Masturbation Month. And now with Covid-19, everyone is stuck at home. Your adolescent kids might have been feeling stifled and also discovering some of their, well, urges. What a great time to discuss masturbation with the whole family! 

But seriously, having an authentic and candid, yet age-appropriate discussion with your kids about masturbation is one of the biggest gifts you can give your children. It sets them up for a better perspective on sex in general and also can help boost their self-esteem.

Here are some tips on how to approach this sticky (sorry couldn’t help it) subject.

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rabbit blog sex with emilyMasturbation May is Marching on! In all the discussion of self love, we would be remiss not to honor a gold standard in masturbatory pleasure. I’m talking about the almighty “rabbit.”

The rabbit-style vibrator is one of the most iconic sex toy styles and known for its internal and external stimulation.

In this article we will briefly cover what it is, its history and presence in the collective sexual consciousness. Plus we’ll tell you all about our current favorite.

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